Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize