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• (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...

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• (094): View more from

  After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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• (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.

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• (347): View more from New York

  It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

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• (+81): View more from

  I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  So... How much of our rent is drug money?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?

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