you would pick up someone in the library
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
