Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
