this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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