Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
