dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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