I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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