false alarm. still invincible.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize