Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
