So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
foreskin is a definite game changer
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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