From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
