how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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