sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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