but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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