Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
