Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
