Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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