He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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