Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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