I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
