Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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