the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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