I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize