i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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