just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
