Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
