In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
