i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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