Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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