You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I understand Curling. That high.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
