So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
