How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
