I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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