giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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