i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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