WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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