Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
