well I can't set my house on fire every night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
