Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
