We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
