Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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