my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
