So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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