Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
