Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
