did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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