I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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