Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
