Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
