I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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