Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This girl is more easily done than said...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
