home. puking in laundry basket.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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