Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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