her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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