wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
