Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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