Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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