so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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